


Remembering to Forget

by Jrob64



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 21:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30078519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jrob64/pseuds/Jrob64
Summary: Emma brings up good memories from the past to replace the painful ones which caused Killian to have yet another nightmare. After taking his mind off of it, they make another beautiful memory together.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	Remembering to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on a prompt from my friend Saj, and was checked over by my loyal beta, Mary. The ladies of the CSMM Discord have been so encouraging & helpful as I was writing it. If you check out this story on my blog on Tumblr, you'll see the GORGEOUS piece of artwork created by Stacy for the banner.

Emma Jones could feel her husband beginning to wrestle and thrash, and could hear his whimpers and moans, but was unable to pull herself out of a deep sleep in time to keep him from having a full-blown nightmare.

“Killian...Killian, wake up!” she said groggily, shifting into the all-too-familiar role of trying to bring him to consciousness. Of course, he’d done his share of awakening her on numerous occasions, as well. Both of them fought off the nighttime demons that living through so many tragedies had created in their memories. 

“I’m sorry!” he choked out, still in the grasp of the nightmare. “I don’t...I didn’t...no, Emma! I didn’t mean it!”

She knew he was reliving speaking the words he had thrown at her when he was the Dark One. This wasn’t the first time he’d had this particular dream. 

Emma took his face between her hands and stroked her thumbs across his cheekbones. “Please, Killian - wake up!” Beads of sweat popped out across his forehead as he continued to mutter and toss restlessly. 

She pressed her lips to his and murmured, “I love you, Killian. I’m right here, Babe. Wake up now.”

Finally, his lashes began to flutter, his breath coming out in short gasps until his eyes were fully open. She knew the exact moment when he was completely awake, as his eyes filled with the regret she had unfortunately seen far too often. 

“Shh...shh...Killian. It’s alright,” she soothed, pulling his head down to her chest. 

“I was so cruel, Swan! How could I be that cruel and heartless to you, when I love you more than life itself? I am so, _so_ sorry!”

“Listen to me,” she said, stroking his dark hair out of his eyes, “you have no reason to be sorry. What you said was true.”

“How can you think that? None of it was true at all!”

“I _did_ push the people I love away, because I was afraid of losing them. _I_ was the one who nearly destroyed my own happiness. You were only pointing out the truth to me.”

She had often thought about the words he’d spoken to her that day, and she knew it was time to put his guilt to rest. 

“But…”

“No, Killian - you’ve blamed yourself for this long enough. It’s time to forgive yourself, just as I’ve forgiven you, and put it behind us. I love you, and nothing is ever going to change that.”

They lay silently for several minutes, until he spoke at last. “When do you suppose these nightmares are ever going to end, Love?” 

Her hand stilled in his hair. Every time one of them woke up in a cold sweat after yet another bad dream, she wondered the same thing. They had been married for five months, and in all that time, they hadn’t faced another crisis. Storybrooke had been mercifully quiet ever since she’d fought the final battle, and yet, the nightmares persisted. Sometimes she thought she might welcome another monster of some type coming to town, in hopes it would occupy their minds enough to push the bad memories aside.

Between the two of them, they’d dealt with more than their share of trauma. Being Dark Ones, watching Killian die or almost die numerous times; fighting Peter Pan, the Wicked Witch, flying monkeys and other assorted beasts; being separated by realms and ice caves; and suffering in the Underworld with Hades were just a few of the memories that plagued their sleep.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. Usually when they experienced a nightmare, they discussed it briefly, then lay quietly until they drifted back to sleep. She decided to try a different tactic this time. “Do you remember when I chained you up in Anton’s castle and left you there alone with him for ten hours?”

He turned his head to gaze up at her with a puzzled look on his face. “Aye. You said you couldn’t take a chance on being wrong about me. Why are you bringing that up, Love?”

“I don’t know, I just…” Suddenly a giggle bubbled out of her. “Remember you told me I was leaving you to die? You thought Anton was going to eat you and crush your bones!”

“It was a natural reaction. That’s how the story goes, after all.”

“What did the two of you do all that time?”

“I spent most of it trying to convince him to let me go, but you had worked your charms on him and he wasn’t about to betray you.” 

“Now the only thing you have to fear about him is that he won’t pay for the next round of drinks on Thursday nights at The Rabbit Hole!”

Killian chuckled. Thursday evenings with his mates had become a bit of a tradition. Sometimes it was just for a quick drink after work, but once every couple of months or so, it turned into all of them buying rounds for each other, while playing cards or darts together. 

“Aye, he’s not quite the fierce and ferocious giant he was rumored to be, is he?”

“A giant teddy bear, maybe!” 

Killian rolled over and wrapped his arm around his wife. “Anton wasn’t the only person who we were afraid of erroneously. Elsa is one of your best friends now, but when she created that ice wall surrounding the town, we thought she was trying to kill us all, one-by-one.”

“If I remember correctly, that was _your_ philosophy! At least, that’s what you wanted us to believe. I think you were just trying to impress my dad.” 

“Well, I felt inclined to live up to his expectations of me. He made no secret of the fact that he wanted me to stay away from you. He reminded me on numerous occasions that I was nothing but a pirate, and you would never want anything to do with me.”

“Yeah, and you can see how that worked out!” Emma snickered. “I think he realized long before I did that there was an attraction between us.”

“You realized it, Love. You just didn’t want to admit it! You will never be able to convince me that you didn’t start to fall in love with me when we shared that kiss in Neverland.”

“You’ll never know for sure, will you?” she teased. 

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Perhaps not, but it all worked out anyway. You’re my wife and your father is my biggest fan!”

“Yeah, after all the threats and the times he punched you…”

“Don’t forget when he murdered me!”

“That was in that stupid storybook universe Gold created. It wasn’t real.”

“It certainly felt real enough at the time, as I remember!” he grumbled. “That is still not the cruelest thing your father ever did to me, though.”

She filtered her fingers through his damp hair, brushing it back from his sweaty forehead. “No? What was it then?”

“Making me wait a bloody eternity before giving me an answer when I asked for his blessing to propose to you!”

Emma laughed loudly, and Killian fought back a grin. “It wasn’t funny, Swan! I thought for a minute there he was going to push me over the side of the pier!”

“He just didn’t want to lose his best ‘mate’” she snickered, trying to imitate her husband’s accent. “You two _do_ have quite the bromance going!”

This time, Killian couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across his face. “I knew I would win him over in time.”

“It really didn’t take very long. Remember when he pushed you out of the way of that falling light pole? Or when you were trapped under those icicles in the woods and he was trying to free you?” 

“With that feeble knife? Any other time, Prince Charming would have had a sword with him!”

“Yeah, well, be glad he _didn’t_ have one that day. Knowing your luck, he would have slipped and chopped off another one of your appendages!”

“Well, as long as he left the _important_ parts intact!” he smirked.

Emma rolled her eyes. 

“I think he’s quite adept at handling a sword, unlike his daughter,” Killian continued, watching her out of the corner of his eye to catch her reaction.

“Hey!” 

He chuckled. “Granted, you have become an expert at swordplay since then, but you have to admit your early attempts were rather pathetic.”

“I managed to slay a dragon and beat _you_ in a swordfight!”

“Come now, Love. Do you honestly believe you beat me? I had been a pirate for over two hundred years by that point. I’d beaten the likes of Blackbeard and the Evil Queen’s black knights. I could have quickly and easily defeated you.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I thought if I could prolong our swordfight in order to give your mother and Mulan a chance to defeat Cora, I could go through the portal with you instead of her. I never wished to align myself with her, but when she presented the opportunity to gain access to the Crocodile, I took it.”

“Too bad I knocked you out, then.”

“I was simply dazed, Swan.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Babe. I don’t remember you jumping through the portal with us though, so I must have _dazed_ you pretty good!” He rolled his eyes and she snickered, then pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I guess we seemed like the safer option to you, huh?” 

“Aye. Little did I know you were just as dangerous as Cora.”

She pushed herself up to a sitting position and looked down at him. “What do you mean by that?”

He propped himself up on his elbow and gave her a crooked grin. “She might have _tried_ to steal my heart, but _you’re_ the one who actually succeeded.” 

Emma brought both hands up to the sides of his face and scratched her fingers through his longer-than-usual scruff. “And I’m never giving it back, Babe.”

“I would despair if you did,” he replied, then ran his tongue along the inside of his bottom teeth as he looked at her from under his long, dark lashes. 

“I remember hearing _that_ phrase before,” she said with a smirk. 

“I remember _saying_ it, and you _have_ had trouble keeping your eyes off of me, Darling!” He lightly ran his fingers down her bare arm, and she giggled at the tickling sensation. 

“Who can blame me? You cut quite the figure in all that black leather!” 

“And yet, you chose a white suit for me to wear on our wedding day!”

“I obviously wasn’t thinking very clearly when I did that,” Emma remarked. 

“Well, you had a lot weighing on your mind at that time, so it was understandable.”

“But as soon as I saw you standing there in that black tuxedo, I _couldn’t_ take my eyes off of you.”

“Nor I, of you. I shall never forget the vision of you coming toward me. The way you looked at me made me weak in the knees.” 

“Regina always _did_ accuse us of making eyes at each other.”

“She wasn’t wrong.”

“I suppose not, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of agreeing with her!”

He laid his head against her shoulder, continuing to stroke the soft skin of her other arm. “Why have you decided to bring up all these memories tonight, my love?”

She sighed. “I guess...I guess I just wanted to try to replace the images in your mind which were causing you to have another nightmare.”

He stopped the movements of his hand for several seconds before he resumed. “I wish we could drive those images out for good. I’d much rather dwell on the happy memories.”

“I wouldn’t say all the things we mentioned were happy at the time, but now that we look back on them, they seem almost comical. I mean, who would believe we’ve had to fight flying monkeys and snow monsters?”

Killian rumbled out a laugh. “We _have_ had some crazy adventures, and I’m sure there are more to come, but for now, I’m enjoying the many quiet moments we’ve had lately.” 

They laid there without speaking, as he continued to caress her arm and she feathered her fingers through the hair above his ear. 

“Do you remember…” he began. 

When he didn’t continue, she prompted, “Remember what, Killian?”

He sat up to look into her face. “Do you remember when you pulled me back from the brink of a nightmare and we made love for the rest of the night?”

She looked puzzled. “No, I don’t.”

He raised one eyebrow as he gave her a devilish grin. “That’s because we’ve yet to _make_ that memory, Love.”

“Oh, really?” she asked coyly, shifting her position to align the front of her body with his. “How do you propose we rectify that?” 

“I’ve no clue,” he replied with fake innocence. 

“Well, let me make a few suggestions then.” 

She slowly slid her tongue up the cords of his neck, and sucked on his earlobe, which she knew from experience drove him wild. Then she licked around the shell of his ear and felt him shudder, before she whispered, “Make love to me, Killian. All. Night. Long.” punctuating every word by teasing the inside of his ear with her tongue. 

“Gods, Emma! What you do to me!” he rasped. 

“Tell me what you’d _like_ for me to do to you,” she purred. She began moving her hands down his body, scraping her nails against the skin on his back. 

His breath was already coming out in short pants when she continued, the vibrations of her voice in his ear going straight to his groin, “Command me as you wish, _Captain_.”

Killian gave a guttural growl and suddenly flipped her onto her back, caging her in with his arms. “If it’s the Captain you want, it’s the Captain you shall have, my love!” 

He dipped his tongue into the hollow of her throat, then slid it across her collarbone, sucking at the skin underneath to mark her as his own. After doing the same under her opposite clavicle, he swung himself off to her side and commanded, “Off the bed, Love. Stand before your Captain!”

Emma scrambled across the room and did as she was told, her legs trembling with anticipation as he watched her from his seat on the end of the bed. 

“Remove your clothing!”

She started to quickly peel the tank top from her body. 

“Slowly!” he demanded. “I want to savor seeing every inch of that luscious skin as it’s bared to me.”

She swallowed at the look of primal lust in his eyes, and once again began to slide her shirt up her body, languidly and seductively this time. When the hem reached the bottom of her breasts, she lifted one side a bit higher, giving him a tease of her nipple, then dropped it back down and repeated the same action on the other side. 

He was licking his lips by this point, and a quick glance down at his tented boxers told her that her little act was having the desired effect. She turned her back to him and slipped the shirt up and over her head, turning so he could catch a glimpse of her now exposed breasts. Running her hands up her body, she stopped to pinch and prod her nipples until they were sharp peaks, throwing her head back and shaking out her mane of blonde hair, as she released almost obscene moans. Then she turned to look at him over her shoulder with hooded eyes. 

“Is this what you wanted, Captain?” she asked in a low, sultry voice. 

“Bloody hell, yes,” he croaked, moving his hand to cup himself through his underwear. “But I don’t believe you’ve completely followed my command yet, Darling.”

Emma once again turned her back to him, hooked her thumbs under the waistband of her bikini panties, and slid them over her backside, bending at the waist as she dragged them down, in order to give him a perfect view of her ass. 

Killian could stand it no longer. He rose from the bed and swaggered forward, grabbing one rounded globe with his hand, while his scarred wrist massaged the other. Taking another step, he closed the gap between them, and Emma could feel his rigid cock rubbing against her folds. She started to straighten up, but his wrist pressed down on the small of her back to still her. 

“No, Swan. On your knees for your Captain!” 

Emma bit her lip and sank down to the floor. He took his time walking around her until he was standing directly in front of her, the bulge of his arousal at eye level. 

Folding his arms across his chest and looking down at her, he commanded, “Now...strip me!” 

She reached up to grab his boxers, but he batted her hands away. “With your mouth, Love.” 

Emma drew in a ragged breath, then leaned forward and gently took a bit of the material between her teeth. He watched as she pulled the boxers out and over the tip of his cock, helping her along by easing the elastic band over his hips. As soon as she’d dragged them down to his thighs, he impatiently pushed them the rest of the way down his legs, then straightened up. 

Putting his hand on the back of her head, he growled, “Take me into your mouth.” 

Before doing his bidding, she looked up at him through her lashes and licked her lips slowly, in anticipation of tasting him. “May I touch you with my hands, Captain?” she appealed. 

“Aye.” 

She reached behind him and gripped his ass, then opened her mouth to suck on the tip of his cock, swirling her tongue over the slit to gather his precum. The taste of the briny fluid made her shiver, and she pulled back to lick her lips. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop!” he barked hoarsely, tangling his fingers in her hair to draw her back down on him. 

This time, she took in the belled head and sucked hard, making him gasp. She let him go with a pop, then repeated the action again and again, until she felt his body begin to quake. Before he could give her another command, she rose up higher on her knees and took his entire length into her mouth and down her throat, swallowing around him. 

“For fuck’s sake, Emma,” he groaned. 

She pulled off of him. “Is this what my Captain wants?” she asked, batting her eyelashes up at him. 

“Gods, yes!” 

She smiled and took him into her warm mouth again, this time bobbing her head up and down twice before taking him deeper. After performing this action several times, she felt his fingers tighten in her hair, then he gently but firmly pulled her head back. Blinking up at him, she awaited his next request. 

“Lay on the bed, Love. Spread eagle on your back.” 

She pushed up to her feet and sashayed across the room, putting extra sway into her hips. Sinking down onto the bed, she slowly crawled into the middle of the mattress, then laid down on her back and stretched her arms and legs out as directed.

“Close your eyes and don’t open them until I say!” Killian said, his voice deepened with desire. 

“Yes, Captain,” she breathed, letting her eyelids flutter shut. She waited several heartbeats before the end of the bed dipped down beneath his weight. When she felt the cold metal of his hook tracing the apex of her thighs, her breath hitched, and it was all she could do not to let her eyes pop open. 

He drew the curve of the hook through her slickness, and in the next moment, it was gone. Emma drew in a quick breath and held it, then she felt him lightly tap the sharp tip against her bottom lip. 

“Open your mouth to taste yourself, Darling.”

Emma did as she was told, sticking her tongue out so he could slide the hook across it. She tasted the tang of her arousal and shivered. Then her husband’s mouth replaced his metal appendage, as he pulled her tongue between his lips and stroked it with his own. 

She moaned into the open-mouthed kiss and began to wrap her arms around his neck. Suddenly, he pulled away. “Uh-uh-uh, Swan,” he admonished. “Arms spread out!”

“But…”

“Are you disobeying your Captain?” he barked.

“No, Captain,” she replied, quickly dropping her arms back to the mattress. 

The next thing she felt was her right nipple being sucked into his mouth as he roughly rubbed his hook against her left one. His body lowered over hers, his erection thick and hard against her stomach. He continued to suck and lick, and she knew he was leaving numerous marks on her breasts, the thought of which left her panting. There was something strangely erotic, looking in the mirror the next day and seeing the reddish-purple bruises marking her as _his_. 

She heard the hook hit the floor, then felt him slide his fingers along her left arm to grasp her hand and pull it over to her breast. She understood what he wanted her to do, and began to squeeze and massage it. 

He backed down her body, leaving searing kisses in his wake, skipped over her most intimate place and began to suck marks into her inner thighs. She let out whimpers of protest, feeling as though the throbbing between her legs was going to consume her. 

As he blew a hot breath against her, she moaned, “Killian, please…”

“What did you call me?”

“I mean, Captain!”

“Whatever it is you want, you must beg me for it!”

“Please, Captain! Your tongue...your fingers...or...your cock. Please...I need you to _touch_ me!” 

“How about if you touch yourself?” he asked, reaching across her body to pull her other hand down between her legs. He sat back and watched as she swiped her fingers through the abundant slickness of her arousal, sliding them back and forth between her folds. He began to stroke himself as he watched. “Push two fingers inside, Love.” 

She did so, as her left hand continued to tweak her nipple and her eyes remained closed. 

“Pump your fingers in and out. Let me hear those lovely, wet sounds.” 

She planted her feet on the mattress, and her hips bucked off the bed as she did his bidding over and over. Then without warning, he lowered his head and sucked hard on her bundle of nerves, causing her to come around her own fingers and clamp her legs around his head. 

“Cap...Captain,” she panted, barely able to speak, “Pleeease, Captain! I want you! I _need_ you!” She removed her fingers and her arm flopped limply back onto the bed.

“What would you have me do?” 

“F-Fuck me, please!” she pleaded. 

Suddenly, his body covered hers once again and his face was beside hers as he whispered into her ear, “I won’t fuck you, Emma, but I _will_ make love to you.” 

He kissed her tenderly, and murmured, “Open your eyes, Love.” When she did, green eyes met blue, and her breath stopped at the depth of love she saw there. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” she breathed. 

“Good,” he smiled, then slid home inside her as he looked into her eyes. “I love you, my darling.” 

“I love you, too,” she whispered, the change in him from being the commanding Captain to her sweet Killian, causing a swell of emotion in her. Tears trickled from the corners of her eyes, and his forehead creased in concern. 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I, Sweetheart?” 

“N-no,” she stammered, shaking her head side to side. “No, Killian, not at all. I’m fine, but please, _move_.” 

“As you wish,” he grinned, and began to thrust shallowly. 

Emma wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him closer by crossing her ankles at the small of his back. 

“Harder...deeper,” she panted. 

“Aye, aye, Captain,” he smirked, before snapping his hips so hard it took her breath away. “Too much?” 

“Noooo,” she moaned. “M-more! Just like that!”

“I...love it...when you...tell me...what...you like,” he gritted out, punctuating his words with sharp thrusts. 

When his movements became erratic, signaling that he was close to his release, she pulled his face down and pressed her open mouth against his to catch his curses and words of praise. With a mighty shudder, they climaxed simultaneously. Emma heard Killian let out a strangled shout of ecstasy, just as she saw a white explosion behind her closed eyelids. 

His body collapsed on top of her, and she attempted to move her arms to hold him, but they felt like lead weights. She buried her nose behind his ear, gulping in short breaths, while she felt the tremors of their aftershocks. 

With his last ounce of strength, he wrapped his arms around her and rolled onto his back, bringing her to rest on top of him. They lay boneless, with Emma resting her head on his chest, until their breathing returned to normal, and the sweat on their bodies began to cool. She groped the bed blindly, and when she finally located the blanket, tugged it over both of them. 

Emma lost count of how many kisses he pressed into her hair as he repeated his declarations of love, over and over. 

When she regained enough energy, she propped her chin on his chest and looked into his face. “You really _are_ a hell of a Captain, you know,” she smirked.

He chuckled as he combed his fingers through the tangles in her hair. “Well, _you_ are my anchor, Love.” 

“Are you saying that I drag you down, like a ball and chain?” she giggled.

“On the contrary - you hold me steady and keep me even keeled. I don’t...I don’t know how I survived all those years without you. I often wondered why I was spared from death so many times, and was given all those extra years of existence. I always thought it was so that I could finally exact my revenge, but now I know it’s because I was meant to meet you - the love of my life.” 

Emma leaned up to kiss him sweetly. “And I thought twenty-eight years of being alone was a long time.” 

He smiled against her lips. “That’s all behind us now, Love.”

She pushed herself up and folded her arms over his chest so she could look into his eyes. “You’re right, all of that _is_ in the past - all the bad memories, the loneliness, the pain. We need to stop allowing those things to invade our thoughts and dreams.”

“Hopefully, as long as we continue to make memories like these that we just created tonight, we’ll be able to crowd the ones which have been causing nightmares, out of our heads completely.”

Emma tilted her head and smiled softly. “That’s what I was hoping for when I brought up all of those adventures we’ve had together. By remembering them, I thought we might forget the bad ones, at least for a while.” 

“You’re bloody brilliant, Emma,” he praised. “I quite like your tactics for making me forget, especially the one that landed us in this particular position.” He wound his arms around her tightly, pulling her back down against him and sighing against the crown of her head. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep now?” she asked quietly. 

“Aye. If not, I know you’ll be here for me, just as I will be for you.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. “Always, Killian. Always.”

*********  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and, if you're so inclined, leaving kudos and/or comments.


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